It was a great episode ofSurvivorthis week, and I don't just say that because there was a distinctlack of Zac Brownhappening in week 5. There was also drama galore!Christianis out here dubbingOzzyPolly Prissypants.Deeis out here spitting fire by proclaiming, "I actually thoughtCharliewas the most dangerous player here, but I actually think he's the dumbest player here."
We had two enemies battling in Charlie andRizo. We had twoalliesfighting in Ozzy and Christian. The editing was so strong that we went into two Tribal Councils not knowing who was going home. We had Charlie crying into his hands during his final words after being on the receiving end of his first torch snuffing. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE JEFF PROBST IMPROV COMEDY TRIBAL COUNCIL REVUE! (Hey, why no Zac Brown impersonation?)
It was a fabulous episode full of all the interpersonal dynamics we crave asSurvivorfans, with the show focusing on the players and their relationships with each other… as it should. And yet, here I am with a single tear gently rolling down my cheek as I mourn the loss ofAngelina Keeley.
I mourn not just because Angelina was so cruelly dispatched from the island, but rather because I feel like she was hardly everonthe island to begin with! I realize I sound like every other fan wishing for more airtime for their personal favorite, but how could anyone not want more Angelina on their screen? And the opportunities were there. Iwrote in my premiere recaphow she tried to negotiate withJeff Probstatthe very first immunity challenge!How does that not make the air? Especially when you have three hours to play with? And let me ask you this: How did we not getmultipleconfessionals of Angelina simply talking about her double lashes?
I wrote before the season how the people I was most excited to see return forSurvivor 50were the people in the 30s seasons. Most of them were in that sweet spot of having been away for long enough to miss them while also having only played once, so weren't over exposed. And Angelina may have been at the very top of that list. But she was pretty invisible in the edit this season. Even after she watched herbestie get blindsidedout of the game last week, we barely heard from Angelina reacting to being betrayed by Christian and losing her best (and only, outsideChrissy?) ally in the game. How is that possible?!?
Instead, we were treated to a heaping helping of Ozzy sounding like the most mellow pissed-off person I have ever seen in my life. And granted, the Ozzy stuff was great! He was sitting there apologizing the next morning for being "childish" and "hot-headed" and I was like: Dude, NO, this is amazing! Keep it rolling! SOMEONE STOP OZZY FROM MEDITATING IMMEDIATELY! But even with all that drama, we could have gotten a little bit more from the foremost authority onSurvivorouterwear about losing Mike, being hoodwinked by Christian, and what it meant to her on both a personal and game level. Especially if she was about to be off the show by the time I polished off my Milwaukee's Best.
I mourn your loss, Jacket Queen! But I also celebrate an episode jam-packed with old-schoolSurvivorgoodness, with nary a Journey nor an extended idol hunt to be found. Let's get into everything that went down and recap episode 5 ofSurvivor 50below. (Also make sure to check out ourSurvivorWinners Bracket, which is just completing round one!)
Coach hires some new assistant coaches
We better touch on the Kalo tribe now, because it's the only time we're going to see them this week thanks to their — SPOILER ALERT! — immunity challenge victory. And any timeCoachis dancing on my TV screen is a good day to be alive. Little did I know things were about to get even better.
I've had a few times over the years where things from my pre-game interviews have then bled into the season. The starkest example is when I asked Ozzy beforeSouth Pacificif he would ever consider intentionally sending himself to Redemption Island because he was so good at challenges and it was a great way to bond with and befriend future jury members. He looked at me confused for a second as he thought over the possibility, and then remarked that it could actually be a good strategy. And then the bastard went and did it!
I wasn't trying to plant the seed in Ozzy's head,Inceptionstyle. I was just asking for his thoughts on a risky yet viable strategy towards the recently introduced Redemption Island twist. And then after considering the option, the son of the gun went and did it. I bring this up because two days beforeSurvivor 50, I asked Coach to give himself a new nickname for his fourth season. He sat there and pondered, and then came up with the Tide Walker. I evenput it in my headline!
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And then here he was 10 days later using that same nickname from our interview in the game. So cool. And he didn't stop there! He also started giving his allies nicknames as well.Joe(what a boring name!) became the Stone Bell Monk.Colbytransformed into the Oakbound Warrior. This all happened during some sort of impromptu knighting ceremony, and I think it is fair to say I have never been more jealous of two individuals in my entire life.
But even with all that, the best moment at Kalo beach this week was watchingAubryandGeneveiveengage in super awkward small talk while lying together by the shelter. "We've survived 10 days together, Geneveive," Aubry noted dryly. God, I love an open feud.
Anatomy of a challenge
You all know that the press often gets to test out challenges with the Dream Team in full challenge run-throughs, but on a few occasions over the years, I've gotten to test them out in an even earlier, preliminary stage. And that was the case here as my press cohorts,Stephenie Petit, Kelli Boyle, Nick Caruso and Terry Terrones, and I gave it a go. But this one went through some changes from our initial run-through.
The three biggest changes worth noting were as follows:• Originally, four people for each tribe would swim the course, each taking one bag with them. In the final challenge, it was just two people, each getting two bags.• There was no log to dig under on the original course.• There was no grappling hook phase, which was added in later.
I'll also note that landing those bags on the platforms is not as easy as it looks. Since there were five of us, we were each going to land one bag. Unfortunately, I was the only one able to do so. Probst and producers had seen enough of our futility andliterally left us there on the beachas my teammates continued in vain to attempt to land their bags. It was simultaneously humiliating and hilarious.
In any event, as for the actual challenge you saw, how cool was it to seeJonathanand Ozzy go head-to-head in the water? This is exactly what challenge producer John Kirhoffer saidhe wanted to seebefore the season, and the one-on-one matchup delivered with a back-and-forth battle with several lead changes along the way. None of it mattered, however, as Coach (with the grappling hook) and Joe (with the bag toss) brought Kalo from worst to first, saving them from the double-date with Probst at Tribal Council, while also severely curtailing their airtime. Soooooo… win/lose, I guess?
Christian babysits Ozzy
"If there ever was an easy vote onSurvivor, this would be an easy vote." That wasEmily Flippenspeaking, and I guess, in the end, the votewaspretty easy (and unanimous). But some fascinating stuff went down over on Vatu along the way. Even though Ozzy professed to be all mellow yellow after meditating about… I don't know… Zac Brown or something?… he was still super weary of Christian. He toldStepheniehe was down to blindside the professor and informed Emily she should consider ditching Christian because they would be a big target as a nerd couple at the merge, but nobody would suspect the Emily and Ozzy combo platter.
I want to say two things about that last point. Firstly, Emily naturally went right to Christian and told him everything BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT EMILY FLIPPN DOES ONSURVIVOR 50!Secondly, that might be the savviest game analysis Ozzy has made in five seasons of playingSurvivor. Seriously, he is right on the money! Also, rightfully or wrongfully, should Emily make it to the end with Christian, she would likely be seen as more the passenger on strategy, while next to Ozzy, she would probably be seen as the driver. (You could make the counterargument that Christian is therefore a better shield, but he's also probably not as controllable and predictable a partner as Ozzy.)
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Anyway, all that is moot at this point as Emily ran back to Christian, who then hilariously kept calling Ozzy a baby for still being upset over the Mike White vote, even comparing him to Cartman's stuffed animal onSouth Park.(Wait, is there a Cartman reward this season?) At the root of Christian's frustration was a request from Ozzy for Christian to give him his Shot in the Dark as assurance that he would do what he said he was going to do.
I have to say… ballsy request, Ozzy! And, shockingly, Christian went along with it, surrendering his D&D-looking die. Now, two very cool things could have happened here as a result of that transaction. 1) Ozzy could have then voted Christian out after taking away his SITD protection, which would have been diabolical. Or 2) Christian could have given Ozzy his SITD to show his loyalty… and then blindsided a now all-too-comfortable Ozzy right out of the game, sacrificing his own Shot in the Dark in the process. I kind of would have loved that because I am always down for seeing new ways to utilize the SITD strategically beyond just a saving yourself from a vote.
Unfortunately, neither of those things happened, and it was Angelina unanimously voted out. She took it well enough, and gave us the full-circle moment we all craved by taking time to give the tribe her jacket before departing. But can you believe it has taken me over 1,700 words to get to the Tribal Council comedy stylings of Probst?!? I said it two weeks ago when he started rapping and I'll say it again: Probst has entered his weird era. And I am all about it.
I legitimately do not get how people are mad about this kind of stuff. On what planet do younotwant to see Probst attempting to impersonate various members of the season 50 cast, including one sitting right in front of him? I'm dying to know everything. Did he practice these in the mirror before Tribal? Do he and the other producers have an open mic night at the Fijian Chuckle Hut where they workshop this kind of stuff? Are there other players he tried that didn't quite pass muster? I also love that players have been impersonatinghimfor years (recently always starting with a long, drawn-out "Allllllllright…") and now it's a case of The Host Strikes Back.
Look, I know what you are thinking right now, and I am thinking the exact same thing: I need to get to work on a Probst impersonation oral history, and I need to do soimmediately.
Rizo's angels
You can't see it, but I've been sitting here staring at a blinking cursor for a good five minutes silently debating how much — if any — time to devote toRick Devenscasually passing gas on national television. (Imitatethat, Probst!) That was the build up, as it were, to chatter about taking out Rizo
But not everybody was on board with taking out Rizo. Dee did not want to be a third wheel in the Charlie and Jonathan bromance so went to Rizo about forming a new fearsome foursome withKamillaandCirie. "I'm not a guy's guy," responded Rizo, which is not the type of thing you necessarily expect to hear coming out of the mouth of a dude who refers to himself as The-Man-The-Myth-The-Legend-R-I-Z-G-O-D-RizGod-Baby.
And then Rizo got to work. He told Dee about the Billie Eilish idol, using the information to cement a bond with her and leading the last remaining winner to opine "she's amazing" — because Dee is evidently contractually obligated to act over-enthused about every celebrity even tangentially associated with season 50. He told Cirie he had an idol, even getting the old-school legend to tell him she had Ozzy's extra vote. "I had zero hope, but Rizo turned it all around for me," Cirie said — a far cry from herattitude toward him pre-game. And he made up a lie to Kamilla thatKyle's final wordswere to work with her, which she did not necessarily buy, but hey, A for effort anyway.
Kamilla was the swing vote as she complained about Charlie playing too slow a game, while also noting on the other side that: "Who goes around telling people that 'People call me the RizGod'? I think it's so weird." (Although I wonder when that quote was actually said.)
But the harshest comment of all came from Dee: "I actually thought Charlie was the most dangerous player here," she told us. "But I actually think he's the dumbest player here." WHOA! Dee Valladares coming in hotter than a Zac Brown grill at theSurvivorSanctuary! The Swifties are now going to be coming for both RizoandDee-Lite!
I have to admit, the editors got me at Tribal Council with this one. There was so much attention paid to Rizo during Tribal that I figured his proverbial goose was cooked. Maybe they included all that to throw us off the scent, or maybe because it was a legitimately interesting discussion. I've gone on record as saying that the pre-voting section of Tribal Council over the years has actually become my least favorite part of the show. Yes, the vote-off is always exciting, but players have become too good at avoiding saying anything of actual substance and skillfully distracting with a well-placed metaphor or analogy. So much of it before the vote is just talking in circles and generalities.
Not to say we actually got high drama here — although the repeated shots of Kamilla watching Rizo and Charlie talk certainly were effective in building that tension — but Probst pursued a legitimately intriguing line of questioning by asking both Rizo and his tribemates how him being an unknown quantity played as either a negative or positive. My boy Devens made the best point of all in this discussion, pointing out how Rizo had one disadvantage in that he could not pivot after watching himself play the first time. This is actually what undid Amanda Kimmel inMicronesia. She never got to watch her subpar final Tribal Council performance inChinabefore giving her FTC performance inMicronesia, and it cost her.
The Rizo vs. Charlie feud (although somewhat one-sided at first) had a great punctuation, with both serving up delicious voting confessionals. "Charlie, let me speak Taylor Swift to you," Rizo began. "This is no love story between us. After tonight, there will be bad blood. And when I take you out in RizGod-style, I'mma get out of here in my getaway car. Sayonara. Adios."
Charlie's was perhaps slightly less rehearsed, but no less powerful: "If I had known nothing about your game, it would have been better than me knowing the one thing that is getting you voted out tonight: that you betrayed your number one."
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Poor Charlie. It was his first time ever having his torch snuffed, and he clearly took it hard. The last shot we had of him onSurvivorwas crying with his head buried in his hands during his final words. I love it. I mean… I don't love itfor him. But I have always said I want players who care deeply. And who wear that emotion on their sleeve.
I'm sure many will take Charlie to task for letting his obsession over the Maria vote carry over into this game and perhaps leading to his early ouster. I'm just happy he was honest about it. Italked with Charlieabout his relationship with Maria before the game, and it's clear he is still deeply hurt by it. It would have been so much easier for him to show up, act cool, say it didn't bother him anymore… but he didn't. He was honest about it being something he is still dealing with and working through. And he was honest that Rizo was essentially giving himSurvivorPTSD.
This entire arc would have been so much less interesting if Charlie had made up some other phony baloney reason for wanting Rizo out. Instead, he reached into both his and our sharedSurvivorhistory to make it a much more impactful viewing experience. (The same way we have a shared history with Ozzy watching him talk about all his emotional scars from previous seasons.) And I'm sure it doesn't help matters now for Charlie to learn that Rizo wasn't even really telling the truth about voting against his number one and was merely saying that to distance himself fromSavannahin the game (I watched her do the exact same thing on original Cila beach).Survivoris just a brutal game, man.
Okay, a few reminders before we make like Charlie and Angelina and get out of here. Check out ourmost recent Mystery Boxfor exclusive behind-the-scenes photos, video, and so much more, and watch the castdebate land vs. sea maroonings. I'll be chatting with both Angelina and Charlie on Thursday, so keep your eyes peeled for those Q&As while I go do a little advance prep on next week's scoop of the crispy!
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