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- - USA TODAY and Yahoo may earn commission from links in this article. Pricing and availability subject to change.Money or love? USA TODAY readers told us what's more important in a relationship
Rachel Barber, USA TODAYSeptember 28, 2025 at 3:04 AM
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Money versus love – like many Americans, USA TODAY readers disagree over which is more important in a relationship.
A recent Tawkify survey found Americans' answers depended on the question's phrasing. More than 6 in 10 surveyed said they would marry for love, even if it meant a lifelong financial struggle. But if forced to decide between love and money, 46% said they would pick the latter and nearly 1 in 3 said they'd consider getting back with an ex if that person became wealthy.
We asked USA TODAY readers what they thought of the age-old debate and they were also near evenly split on the question. Of those who responded to our informal survey, 53% said love is more important.
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'Love was the important thing'
When Dean Flanders, 73, of Utah, met his wife he quickly fell "head over heels in love with her." The pair has been married for 46 years.
Dean Flanders, of Florida, and his wife have been married for 46 years.
"Love was the most important thing," Flanders said. "We've kind of figured it out along the way. We've changed roles. She was in charge of all the money at first, and then I kind of took that over."
Flanders said they've never abided by a strict budget, but they've also never spent more than they earned. Along the way, they set aside money for retirement and their kids' college tuition.
Flanders' secret to a long marriage: "It's important to talk," he said, something made easier when partners truly love one another. He also advised young couples to be prepared to live without much money, but to use both people's resources to "do something good" that will enable them to provide for one another.
He said that he and his wife "are kind of polar opposites," but that they always come to a compromise.
"We're like two rough stones that were put together," Flanders said. "We now have smoothed each other out to the point that we're just one solid, cohesive mountain."
'I'm financially wealthy and it's all from me'
To Karen Jones, 74, of Michigan, mental and financial health matter most in a relationship.
"I married for love the first time and I married into a really bad relationship," Jones said, adding that as a homemaker she felt their her and her husband's marital dynamic was "controlling" and "demeaning."
They divorced, she took sole custody of their two children, and she went to college to become an occupational therapist. She met her second husband while working paycheck to paycheck.
"He offered me more freedom in terms of finances," Jones said. "And I bought it."
But upon the couples' return from their honeymoon, Jones learned her new husband had been diagnosed with cancer. She served as his caregiver until he died.
Today, Jones is single, financially independent and lives in a house she owns with a garden she proudly tends.
Karen Jones of Michigan, said mental and financial health are most important in a relationship.
"I'm financially wealthy and it's all from me," Jones said. "I'm hoping that inspires women who feel bound to a marriage to jump into that void and land in a good place. That can happen. I mean, I'm an example."
'Both are important. But more marriages fail over money'
Stephen Cullum, 72, of Florida, and his wife will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in October, but he said they may not have made it five decades together if they disagreed over money.
"Both are important. But more marriages fail over money than other issues," Cullum said. "Love is a choice, not a feeling."
While they weren't always wealthy, he said they were bringing in six figures annually before he retired. Throughout their marriage, both were happy to live within their means so they could set money aside for important things and save for the future.
Stephen Cullum, of Florida, and his wife will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in October, 2025.
"Couples had more than we did but they retired with a lot less because they spent it," Cullum said. "You have to find a partner that is compatible... If I had married a spender, I would have had a come to Jesus moment and there would have been an adjustment, or we would have separated."
Cullum would advise daters to remember they can't change someone.
"If being poor is because of how you were born, that, with luck, discipline, and planning can (be) overcome," he said. "But if it is because of lack of self control, then until that person wants to change, they will not and will you drag you down with them. Flee that person."
Reach Rachel Barber at [email protected] and follow her on X @rachelbarber_
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Money or love? USA TODAY readers told us what's more important
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